You work out of a Hotel?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
