do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
operation have a gay friend backfired
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize