For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
