Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
