you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
