wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
