A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
