Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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