Got a toothbrush?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize