She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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