You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh god it's open bar.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
