Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
