in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
