is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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