I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
