he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
