i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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