giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
