I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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