Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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