Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
