Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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