I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
