we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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