It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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