there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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