We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize