Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize