She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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