11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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