i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
