Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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