I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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