so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
