Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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