Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
How external is "for external use only"?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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