No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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