you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
