I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
