I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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