we have pet lesbian snakes
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
