I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
