Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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