First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
