FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
