I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize