found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
