Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
