Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Randomize
