I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
there's paper in my vomit.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I currently don't understand fingers.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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