Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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