As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Randomize
