you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
