I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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