Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
