garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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