The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
