Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
