we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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